One little green speckled blog

Jump down to the weblog

Family & Friends


Other Funny and/or Clever Sites

I Love Portland






Apr 29, 2005

In which I mock others' religious beliefs because I'm an EEEEVIL LIBERAL

Today in the car, we were listening to the song Ramblin' Man on one of our many train songs CDs. The CD player whined: "I luuuuuvs you babeee, but you gotta uuuunderstand, when the Loooooord made me, he made a raaaaamblin' man."

Suddenly Russell asked, "What's the Lord?"

"Well," I said, "the Lord is the same thing some people call God. Some people think there's someone or something out there that controls things or just watches over everything. I don't believe that, myself, but a lot of people do. So in this song he's saying he was just made to be a ramblin' man and doesn't have any choice."

We had a short digression to discuss the word "rambling" and what it meant. Then suddenly Russell announced, "Sometimes I've seen it, so I think it is there. I've seen a sort of a stick thing sticking out, with a dark color, and then a thing poking out that's finger colored," and some other details I missed because I was totally confused about what the heck he was talking about.

"Are you talking about a plant or something?" I asked.

"No, I'm talking about the Lord. Sometimes I've seen a hand and fingers hanging from it up in the sky, in the clouds, so I think it does exist."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. And sometimes I've seen a shoe up in the sky, in the early morning."

"A shoe, huh?"

"And sometimes there's a sock up there. You see that around bedtime sometimes."

At this point I was having trouble answering without audibly snorting, so I just grinned to myself from the front seat and unwisely took a big swig of tea from my thermos cup.

"Once I saw a big pair of pants up there at midnight. So I do think it's real."

The pants just about undid me. I was up there in the front seat making undignified, unparental muffled whooping sounds as I desperately tried to avoid spewing tea all over the car.

Finally I managed to swallow and said, "A pair of pants! That's hilarious!"

Because that's what we liberal atheists do. We point and jeer at the religious beliefs of others because we think we're so smart that we have all the answers, and we don't understand that that pair of pants up in the sky is REAL, baby.

Thinking it over, I reconsidered and added, "Well, I guess nobody can say for certain what's up there!"

So keep an eye out, but if you see a giant pair of Tightie Whities in the sky, I don't want to hear about it.

1 comment

Apr 24, 2005

Bobo speech

I wanted to write down something typical of how Silas speaks now. I just scribbled it down as he was playing with a Lego "car" (wheels on a base), a little metal car which he claimed had a bulldozer blade on the front, and the sofa (where he was climbing over me part of the time). Anyway, here's what he said:

This have a bulldozer blade that move dirt. (speaking for Lego car:)"Do you have a bulldozer blade?" (speaking for blue car:)"Yeah," says bulldozer. Pull pull pull pull... Dump and then dive and then push push push.

I will climb up. I will be very very careful. Julie, I climbing over your back. I being very careful.

This a yeen [machine].

(At this point Russell was trying to get the Lego car from him to scrap it for his parts. After some initial wrangling we convinced Russell to try to negotiate with Silas.)

R: Want me to make a car for sharing? S: Yeah, like the old blue car. R: Want me to make a Lego car for zooming around zoos? S: No, make a car like this blue old car for house (?).

Back to Silas: The car pushing this.

Then Silas wanted to make a race car out of the K'nex toys, but the wheels weren't in the room, so he started thumping the K'nex structure he'd made and said, "We have to have a drum cause we not have wheels for my race car."

That's all she wrote. Of course, he's still talking to himself as I type this!

Apr 22, 2005

Don Juan Livingston Seagull

The scene: two children (Russell and Silas), each holding a partly opened pair of kiddie scissors, and, nearby, Dust Mite and parents (of the kids, not the Dust Mite).

RUSSELL (in a sepulchral voice, while swooping his scissors over Silas'): Could I mate with you?

DAVID (to Julie, sotto voce): Let's hope he refines his approach some in the next few years.

Russell later explained to me that the scissors were seagulls, and Dust Mite was their food.

Maybe we have been reading too many old Ranger Rick magazines.

Now entering the time machine

Let's pretend I posted this in March, OK?

We had such a nice visit with Lynne, who flew all the way from North Carolina to see us and Bob Dylan (or vice versa). The weather was incredibly beautiful. We went to Saturday Market and Crystal Springs Rhododendron Garden.

Silas especially loved visiting with Lynne and held her hand at every opportunity:

The morning after she left, he asked me, "Way-er Wynne?" I gently reminded him she had flown back to North Carolina, where she lives, and that we would see her again someday, but not for a while. I added, "You really liked seeing Lynne, didn't you?" and after thinking that over a moment, he replied, "I be 'appy, and Wynne be 'appy wif me."