This Space for Rent

Constitutional crisis averted, thanks to quick congressional action!

The B*sh junta has been spying on American citizens for the past five years, for nothing more than political reasons (the excuse is to "protect us against terrorism", but given that the US government was spying on Osama's boys well before the destruction of the WTC, but did nothing with that information except tell senior cabinet members to stop flying on commercial airlines, you can see how much I believe that excuse), so when that information was leaked recently there was a bit of a commotion over the teeny detail that it was, um, just a teeny bit unconstitutional.

Ooops. Now, the traditional way of legalizing wildly unconstitutional behavior is just to pass an amendment to the constitution that supercedes that clause, but that sort of thing takes some time and is fairly obvious when you're doing it. So you can understand that Maximum Leader Genius was in a bit of a bind here; his poll numbers aren't that good, after all, and if members of the loyal opposition stops taking their soma and starts speaking out against this illegal act, it might cause even more damage to the poll numbers (and these numbers aren't just cosmetic; since the Evil Party has no principles except avarice and a desire for power, low poll numbers mean that even the most compromising homosexual man-on-dog photographs may not be enough to force your supporters to go your way.) But what do to?

Well, the Evil Party may have found just the solution. First, hand over some tasty port operations to good friends of the family, and then while people are getting all agitated about that, have your minions in the Senate lightly edit the fourth amendment by passing yet another "GET OUT OF JAIL FREE" law for you.

The modified Fourth Amendment is as follows:

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.