“Homeland Security” as only the B*sh junta can do it
The Department of Homeland Hysteria could spend money on, I dunno, security measures and disaster preparedness, but that doesn't really help support the B*sh junta. So, instead, how about just setting up a lobbying organization to make it easier to shovel money to pro-torture churches? This has the big advantage over doing security and disaster preparedness in that if you do the job you're supposed to do, nobody will hear about it, but if you instead arrange to let more GOP-friendly organizations have their chance to suckle at the government teat, you will ensure a steady stream of (a) kickbacks and (b) excuses for the next time a a city is destroyed by a natural disaster or a terrorist uses passenger aircraft as guided missiles.
And don't forget that you can carefully tailor payola to go exclusively to sycophants. If you foolishly try to get the job done, you'll need to hire qualified employees and then you're going to end up paying money to Democrats, which will not get you repeat invitations to the all-you-can-carry pillaging of the American economy.
(via Canadian Cynic)