This Space for Rent

The whitehouse torture policy, interpreted by a common Araneus Diadematus.

It's not torture!

The Geneva Conventions say nothing about injecting prisoners with a poison that liquifies their insides so you can slurp them up like a yummy protein shake, so it's obviously not torture (and if you claim that it is, well, shoot, you can't invoke the Geneva Conventions in a criminal case anyway, so it's pretty much a moot point, isn't it? Now watch this drive.)