This Space for Rent

Oh dear fucking G-d, NO!

Disney, that infamous studio that's best known for taking fluffy lightweight animation projects and skullfucking them to death, has decided to savagely murder C.S. Lewis's The Lion, The Witch, And The Wardrobe. «Disney To Produce a 'Passion of the Christ' for Kids» is what the press releases say, and it comes with backing from notables like Philip "Qwest, and that's not the only company I've run into the ground!" Anschutz and with PR from that same company that did the PR for the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre.

Will it be a disaster? Will they take C. S. Lewis's subtle and compelling (but not compelling enough to make me into a Christian. I was pretty obsessive about the Chronicles of Narnia for a long time when I was a kid, but The Last Battle was too obviously trying to Tell Me Something Important™ for any of the earlier propaganda to stick) Christian allegories, kick them to the curb, and replace them with the same sort of hamfisted rewrite that they did to The Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe? Of course they will. Dominionists aren't subtle, or clever, so they'll do cute Disneyfied crapola to make it painfully obvious that Aslan == Jesus Christ with a rocking haircut and that the White Witch == Hillary Clinton, and every other character will be made into a similar caricature so that their target audience won't have to even think about the so-called lessons that this brutally violated story will tell.

Mark Morford grasps at straws and hopes that this movie will defy his expectations and be a terrific success, but then realizes that since this is Disney, it's not likely to be any more inspirational than a stinking turd. Me? Well, this is a good argument why I should not be the Emperor of the World; if I was emperor of the world, I'd have already signed the order declaring that everyone that runs Disney is an outlaw, that all of their property is forfeit to the crown, and that Disneyland, Disneyworld, Disneyville, and all their movie studios and headquarters buildings are to be razed to the ground and the land sown with salt.

(via Ansible 216)