Alarm clock hints
If you're a boy and you're napping on the couch, don't have your eldest son try to wake you up by leaping from the top of the couch down onto your crotch.
It does wake you up.
Just not in a way that makes you want to do anything except curl up into a whimpering ball of smashed nerve endings.
If people are reincarnated when they die, I'd like to put in a request to come back as a small-breasted woman, so the places where I can be painfully crunched are made a little less external.