From the We are sooo screwed department (weather office)
Some scientists at Scripps have been trying to find which theories best explain global warming, and, to nobody's surprise (except for Evil Party apparachicks) they've discovered that greenhouse gases are the best fit.
This, of course, won't stop the Evil Party apologists, who will keep whining that it isn't so until their beachhouses start washing away (at which point they'll smoothly pivot 180° and start demanding that Uncle Sugar pay to repair the damage, and to hell with Miami, New York City, New Orleans, and every other coastal city which will also be watching their waterfronts wash away. But those are just cities, and they voted for the Democratic Party, so in the tiny thimble-sized brains of the average Evil Party apologist this means it's their fault!)
And, of course, if it gets hotter in the south, the Evil Party solution will be to buy bigger air conditioners for their houses and Hummer H99s (these will be the "hybrid" GM trucks, which get 2mpg instead of the .5mph of the Hummer H98), and, of course, to crank up the Hillary Clinton! Hillary Clinton! propaganda on Pravda!, just in case some of the lower class supporters of B*sh should start to figure out that the Coward in Chief is not only lying to them, but damning them to a shorter more miserable life than they already are looking forward to in the land of no individual rights (but you can carry your Gun! down to the anti-gay rally at the Church of B*ush, even though they won't let you bring it into the auditorium.)
(link via Hellblazer)