This Space for Rent

Apparently someone hasn’t been paying attention to the value of US currency

I've tweaked the spamcatcher on pell so that it shovels all incoming spam into a spam trashcan instead of summarily rejecting the daily crop of nigerian 419 scams, Cantonese-language advertisements for the latest pirated software from Hong Kong, urgent pleas for money for one stupid liberal cause or another, or offers to infect my now-100% Unix network with windows rootkits. Occasionally a real piece of mail falls into the spam trashcan, so I've taken to browsing it every day or so to see what's there.

The nigerian 419 spam can be amusing, particularly when they're just a cut and paste botjob. This one deserves special attention:

ATTN
 
THIS IS TO NOTIFY YOU THAT YOUR OVER DUE INHERITANCE FUNDS HAS BEEN GAZZETED TO BE RELEASED, VIA KEY TELEX TRANSFER (KTT ) -DIRECT WIRE TRANSFER TO YOU OR THROUGH OUR CANADA OFFICE BY THE SENATE COMMITTEE FOR FOREIGN OVER DUE FUND TRANSFER.
 
MEANWHILE, A WOMAN M/S JANET WHITE CAME TO MY OFFICE FEW DAYS AGO WITH A LETTER,CLAIMING TO BE YOUR TRUE REPRESENTATIVE.
 
HERE ARE HER INFORMATIONS:
 
NAME JANET WHITE
BANK NAME: CITI BANK
BANK ADDRESS:ARIZONA, USA.
ACCOUNT Number: 6503809428.
 
PLEASE,DO RECONFIRM TO THIS OFFICE ,AS A MATTER OF URGENCY IF THIS WOMAN IS FROM YOU SO THAT THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT WILL NOT BEHELD RESPONSIBLE FOR PAYING INTO THE WRONG ACCOUNT NAME.IF THIS WOMAN IS NOT YOUR REPRESENTATIVE ,YOU ARE REQUESTED TO FILL AND SEND THIS  INFORMATIONS FOR VERIFICATIONS PURPOSES SO THAT YOUR FUND VALID $13.5 US DOLLARS WILL BE REMMITTED INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT INFO.THIS FUND IS AS A RESULT OF INHERTANCE ON YOUR BEHALF.
 
1. YOUR NAME:...
2. YOUR FULL ADDRESS:....
3. YOUR TELEPHONE ......
4. FAX...................................................
5. AGE...........
6. SEX:....................................
7. YOUR OCCUPATION
8. YOUR VALID ACCOUNT DETAILS:...................................
 
AS SOON AS WE RECIEVE THIS, WE WILL COMMENCE WITH ALL NESSCCARY PROCEEDURES IN OTHER TO REMMIT THIS MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. THE CENTRAL BANK GOVERNOR, BOARD OF DIRECTORS AND THE SENATE COMMITTEE FOR FOREIGN OVER DUE INHERITTANCE FUND HAVE APPROVED AND ACCREDITED THIS REPUTABLE BANK WITH THE OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR, INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE / FOREIGN OPERATIONS,TO HANDLE AND TRANSFER ALL FOREIGN INHERITTANCE FUNDS THIS FIRST QUARTER PAYMENT OF THE YEAR.
 
HOWEVER,WE SHALL PROCEED TO ISSUE ALL PAYMENTS DETAILS TO THE SAID MRS.WHITE, IF WE DO NOT HEAR FROM YOU WITHEN THE NEXT SEVEN WORKING DAYS FROM TODAY.
 
WE ARE SORRY F OR ANY INCOVINENCE THE DELAY IN TRANSFERING OF THIS FUND MUST HAVE CAUSED YOU.
 
YOURS IN SERVICE,
DR.JIMMY KOFI
(FORIEGN OPERATION DIRECTOR ECOBANK)


Invite your mail contacts to join your friends list with Windows Live Spaces. It's easy! Try it!

So DR.JIMMY KOFI wants me to mail him all of this information so he can wire a US$13.50 inheritance into my bank account? Given the exchange rate of the bubbilicious US dollar that wouldn't even be enough to cover the wire charges (the last time I wired money abroad it cost me US$30 for the wire charges, and that was back in the days when a UK£ wasn't up to US$2.10.)

And furthermore, the last inheritance that came into Chateau Chaos was delivered in the post, and it was worth *ahem* a little bit more than the beer money that DR.JIMMY KOFI is using as bait here.

Points for a less ridiculous amount than the US$30 million (== CA$4.75) that the last 419 letter was offering. It almost makes up for the points off for it being so ridiculously tiny that it wouldn't even cover the bank charges.