Campaign solicitations I never finished reading
Dear Friend,
George B*sh and the Republicans in the Senate must believe in magic.
Even though it's clear that the "surge" isn't working, that the Iraqi government isn't progressing towards political stability and that Iraq is alreadt in a civil war, they want to believe that it's all going to somehow get better by September.
[It natters on in this vein for a while, then...] Outrageous. But still the GOP blocks us.
Gosh, and there's just nothing the Democratic Party can do to stop the EVIL REPUBLICANS™, is there? As long as the EVIL REPUBLICANS™ are the majority party in the Senate there's not a single thing that the Democrats can do to stop their nefarious deeds.
Oh, wait, the EVIL REPUBLICANS™ don't actually control the Senate, do they? Why, look, it's the goddamn Democrats who control the Senate, and who have the power to shut down this illegal aggressive war by simply not funding it. But, wait, look at how those funding bills just float right on through the Senate as if they were a laxative. And it's not just war funding bills, either. The "go ahead, spy on everyone! We didn't need the 4th amendment anyhow!" bill just zipped right on through with the Democrats waving bon voyage to it.
And don't forget the 97-0 bill that all but declares war on Iran for something they aren't doing. You'd think that the majority party in the Senate (and that would be the Democrats, would it not?) might be able to say "uh, no, this is a pack of lies and we're not going to give Maximum Leader Genius any excuse to start a second illegal aggressive war. But thanks for playing!" but then you'd forget that the typical modern Democratic politician has been bred to not have a backbone and has been trained in a way that would make Pavlov a very happy researcher.
There is more to this letter, of course, but I stopped reading when I read "WILL YOU HELP FUND...?" because it's kind of hard to read a letter when I've wadded it up and thrown it at the wall.
Dear Mr. Schumer, might I suggest that if you're looking for big old contributions that you go to your fat-cat friends who are paying you to keep their lovely tax loopholes open? If I want to give money to corrupt amoral politicians, I'll just send it directly to the GOP because they don't even pretend to be good anymore. You -- and the rest of the spineless cowardly politicians who call themselves Democrats -- can just fuck off and die.